The following is a guest article from Myke Macapinlac of Social Confidence Mastery.
Back in the day, I used to think that charisma was something you were either born with or not.
I thought I got the short end of the stick. But I was wrong.
As a former shy guy, I grew up really socially awkward. In fact, I remember eating my lunch in a bathroom stall back in high school because I was too terrified to mingle with other people.
I found it really difficult to make friends, let alone get dates.
Later on, I realized that charisma is a learnable skill. With a few simple tweaks to your mindset, body language, and style, you can exude personal magnetism.
According to Olivia Fox Cabane, author of “The Charisma Myth”, charismatic behavior is broken down into 3 parts: presence, power and warmth.
Let’s consider them individually.
Part 1 – Presence
Have you ever talked to someone who you know isn’t fully paying attention to you?
They’re glancing at their phone and they’re looking around. You can tell that something else is more important than the conversation you’re having with them.
It sucks, doesn’t it?
That’s why presence is the most important part of being charismatic. It’s about making whoever you’re with feel like they’re the most important person in the world when they interact with you.
People may not remember what you did for them. But they will always remember how you made them feel.
Part 2 – Power
People will tend to accept whatever you project. Whether you like it or not, people are making snap judgements about what kind of person you are immediately.
Are you a friend or a foe?
Want people to get to know you? Be someone worth getting to know. Influence the way others perceive you through your style and body language.
Not sure where to start?
Think of the type of people you want to have in your life. I’ll give you an example from my life.
For me, I wanted to attract highly successful entrepreneurs to be in my network. After doing a bit of research, I really resonated with Lewis Howes.
He wore a lot of denim, leather jackets, and casual button-ups. His style was edgy yet casual – which suits my personality.
Emulate first before you innovate. It’s really that simple.
Take your appearance seriously because you never get a second chance to make a great first impression.
Part 3 – Warmth
We tend to reciprocate how other people feel about us. Want people to be kind and respectful to you? Take the first step.
You’ll project however you feel. Being charismatic means you genuinely care about other people’s well-being.
Giving a damn goes a long way when it comes to building great relationships.
As Zig Ziglar would say: “If you help enough people get what they want, you’ll get what you want as well.”
Again to sum things up, being charismatic and likable comes down to being present, portraying power, and being warm.
Keep these things in mind every time you meet someone. You’ll dramatically improve the way you relate to others.