How about we chat a bit about how your pants should fit? I’m talking about your denim and chinos. Your casual pants. Those things you wear that aren’t part of a suit and aren’t shorts. You get what I’m sayin.

Let’s assume you’re not a rapper from 1996, an uber-trendy indie emo hipster scene kid from the Lower East Side, an acid-washed denim connoisseur, or a proponent of always wearing black on black on black.

Okay, let’s go.