When it comes to dating, communication is everything. Luckily, by simply taking the time to do some research (like reading this article), you can boost your communication skills, and thus, you are likely to attract more and better dating prospects.
With that in mind, here are some ideas for what to talk about with a girl.
Indeed, no matter how attractive you may be or what you bring to the table, you will likely struggle to find your perfect mate without good communication skills.
Talking Points: Start With One Of These Conversational Prompts
If you are at a bar and see the girl of your dreams, how should you approach her? Likewise, if your crush happens to work out at the same gym, what will you say to get her attention (without being annoying or creepy) and let her know you’re interested?
Start with one of these prompts and I assure you, the conversation will flow much more easily.
And remember: you want to listen more than you talk.
1. Your Workout Routine
One of the best and easiest things to talk about with a girl (especially at the gym) is your workout routine.
Let’s say you see her working out on your favorite machine. You can easily start a conversation by asking her how many sets she has left. It’s neutral, non-threatening, and opens up a line of communication. And if you seem nice, she’ll be sure to let you know once she’s done using it.
A few options to continue the conversation: Ask her how many sets and reps she typically does. Ask if she enjoys weight training, or if she’s more of a cardio fan. Having a conversation about the thing you’re both doing keeps things light and easy.
Here’s the thing: women get hit on at the gym all the time.
If you do keep things friendly, and you don’t hit on her… if you keep it short and sweet, saving some of that convo for the next time you see her… you’ll easily stand out among the throngs of dudes who try to get her number during the very first interaction.
Another great topic to discuss with a girl is style and fashion. You’re already reading Effortless Gent, so there’s a good chance you care about how you dress. And most girls have at least a mild interest in it and will readily discuss their favorite brands or pieces.
(It’s pretty obvious if a person cares about their style; simply look at what they’re wearing.)
So, for instance, if you see your crush at the store and she has on some cool sneakers, you can ask her where they’re from and tell her you like them (assuming you actually do… don’t lie).
Getting her opinion on what to buy and wear could be a fun excuse to hit up the mall and spend some quality time together.
Maybe it’s a girl you’d like to get to know better, and perhaps you have a special event coming up (a party, an important dinner, a wedding). Tell her you could use her help picking out a few things.
This will give you a chance to talk more, and assuming you really do like her style, she can help you find some great outfits.
Another great topic to discuss is music. For instance, if you see a cute girl bobbing her head to your favorite band at the coffee shop, that would be a great time to start a conversation.
You could tell her a fun fact about the band, or ask what her favorite album is. Music is one of those universal subjects where everyone has their own opinions, likes, and dislikes… and rarely are those opinions objectively right or wrong.
If the conversation goes well, and you’re getting the hints that she may be into you, ask for her number and say you’d love to check out a show the next time they’re in town.
4. Viral Memes/Videos
Another fun thing to discuss with a girl is viral videos and memes. As long as she has social media (who doesn’t scroll through TikTok and Instagram nowadays), she is likely to get the references.
Once you get her to laugh and bond over videos you both find funny, you’ll probably have the opportunity to exchange social media handles. From there, staying connected will be easy.
If you happen to see a girl studying, asking her a question about school could be a great way to break the ice. You can ask her anything, from what she is majoring in, to how much longer she has before she graduates.
On the other hand, if you see a girl wearing a sweatshirt from your university or a similar school you’re familiar with, mention that you go there too, or that you’ve heard about the school and you’re curious about it.
From there, you can ask her how she likes it, why she chose to attend there, etc., and if the convo is flowing, ask if she’d like to exchange information.
OK, so this is not a topic for every girl. However, it’s an easy conversation starter when meeting someone at a bar, restaurant, or party setting.
Maybe she’s drinking bourbon neat. I personally don’t see that often, and if I did, I’d spark a conversation by saying so (in a respectful, light-hearted way… not confrontational or douchey, please).
Or maybe you hear her order your favorite IPA from the bartender. Let her know that beer’s your favorite! Ask her if she’s tried (insert your second favorite IPA here), and that she’d probably like it.
7. Hair Color
These days, wild, unique hair colors are more popular than ever.
And both men and women are known for experimenting with uncommon shades. So, if you dye your hair in wild colors, you can simply walk over to her and start a conversation about how cool you think her hair is.
Even if you don’t dye your hair, you can still walk over and compliment her hair and tell her it caught your attention from across the room. Again, only do this if you’re being truthful and you actually do like her hair color.
8. Customer Service
This might be a weird one, but there are opportunities to be made waiting in line at a store!
Imagine you’re stuck in a long customer service line behind a cute girl. If you’re witty and light-hearted about it, you can make a funny, ironic comment about the long line, the wait, or that you wished you just ordered this thing online.
Many people get annoyed having to wait in lines, so you have to tread lightly, but if do it correctly (again, the key is to be funny / witty, not sour or complaining), you can definitely lighten the mood and maybe get a laugh and some conversation.
By the time you get to the front of the line, you may feel comfortable enough to give her your number or ask for hers.
If you meet a girl at a restaurant or bar, starting a conversation about food and drinks can be a great way to get her attention. You could simply ask her what she is eating or drinking and if she’s enjoying it.
If so, tell her you may try it too, based on her glowing recommendation, and that you’ll report back once dinner is over and hopefully it really is as good as she says… wink wink.
Obviously, you’re not holding her to that, but saying that is a way to be playful and light-hearted.
It may be hard to continue the conversation, especially if you’re both with your own group of friends.
However, if you manage to make eye contact a few times during dinner, and she gives you positive signals (e.g. a smile, a long look followed by a shy glance away… not a furrowed brow, a disgusted frown, or a gagging motion), it may be a sign to go out on a limb and try to meet after the meal to give her your number or get hers.
10. Religion and Politics
OK, so these topics can be risky, but it can also be a sure bet if you simply take the time to observe before opening your mouth.
For instance, if she has a Biden bumper sticker, it’s safe to assume she’d be open to discussing liberal ideologies with her.
Similarly, if she is wearing a
11. Celebrity Gossip
Most people are interested in (or at least aware of) celebrity gossip, to some degree. However, it’s best to play it safe and stick to the most well-known ones.
For instance, most people have opinions on Kanye West and the Kardashians, so this can be a great topic when you are trying to gain her interest.
Obviously you can pivot to other topics once you’ve exhausted your knowledge about The Biebs, but at least you’re in the conversation at this point.
12. The Pandemic
Sure, many people are tired of dealing with COVID-19. Nevertheless, there’s always a conversation to be had. It’s the one thing every single person in the entire world experienced, at the same time!
To be safe, you can just start a conversation about hoping things will go “back to normal” as soon as possible.
You could also ask if she had a good pandemic. With a smile, of course. And hopefully you know how to deliver a witty joke because this could go poorly. But hey, what’s life without a little risk.
If you see a girl wearing a
Ask her who her favorite player is, if she plays for fun with friends, if she saw that one game with that crazy move by that highly skilled sports player (I don’t know what I’m talking about here… I don’t
If you’re at a game or watching it at a bar, and something sporty happens that benefits your team, this can be a great moment for a high five. Just don’t go in for the jumping chest bump or the butt slap after a great play. You just met this girl. Things would get awkward, quick.
In all seriousness, if you carried on with great banter during the game, and there’s still a few quarters left (most sports have quarters, right?) you could make a friendly wager to go on a date sometime in the future, no matter if your team wins or loses.
The kinds of movies someone likes can tell you a lot about their personality.
Me, I like a good rom-com. Some people are artsy and cultured and appreciate obscure foreign films. Others love a good adrenaline rush from the Fast and Furious franchise. Or maybe they go the vintage, nostalgic route with classics from the 80s and 90s.
Asking a girl what her top three favorite movies are can open up so many different avenues of conversation! So start with that question and see where it takes you.
Where have you visited? Where do you hope to travel to someday? Where’s the next place you’re going, the first chance you get?
Talking about travel with a girl you’re interested in is really fun, especially if you’re both into visiting faraway places. You can trade stories and dream together, and it’s not even weird if you just met. People who enjoy traveling love to talk and think about traveling.
This is another great (and safe) topic where the conversation can go many different directions. Just listen, ask questions, and show that you’re relatable by telling her a few of your own stories.
Pet people love talking about their pets. I think it’s safe to assume that if you’re talking to a dog lover, she’ll be more drawn to you if you also love dogs.
So ask her about her dog! Tell her about yours (if you have one)! Or maybe you discover you’re both into cats, or iguanas, or parakeets. Whatever the animal may be, that shared interest is an easy conversation starter.
17. Tell a Corny Joke
Laughter is a great way to get a woman’s attention and make her feel at ease. And learning a few corny jokes can help start the conversation, especially if you time it right and use them when they make sense.
For instance, imagine you’re at a bar and a pretty lady’s standing next to you. But damn! You just got your check and you’re about to sign the receipt.
As you sign, you could say “Why should you never write with a broken pencil?” [pause and look at her] “It’s pointless.”
So damn corny. And a very specific situation. But having a few of these on hand is an easy way to break the ice, especially if the joke is related to the situation you’re in.
Here’s a real life example:
14 years ago, during rush hour, after a really long day at work, I stood next to a pretty girl on the train. She clearly was a fashion school student because she had a ton of gear with her and she carried a large roll of paper (as tall as she was!) that designers use to create clothing patterns.
I noticed her immediately and thought she was beautiful, and without having anything better to say, simply stated, “That’s… a really large piece of paper.”
Surprisingly, I made her laugh. I was in!
It was a really corny thing to say. It just came out of me. But it made her laugh.
Long story short, we’re married now, so you really never know how far a corny joke can take you. And luckily, I’m still pretty good at making her laugh.
There’s a trend here, you may notice. The important thing is to pay attention to what the girl you’re into… is into.
Maybe she’s super into gaming. And hey, you are too. Perfect! People who play video games are usually really into it. Just like pet people are really into their pets.
So if you stumble on little hints or overhear her discussing games you are familiar with, this can be a simple way to start a conversation.
19. The Environment/weather
“So, it’s a hot one out there this week, isn’t it?”
I know, convos about the weather can be kinda lame. It’s the default topic for every acquaintance you interact with: coworkers, your dentist, the bank teller who processed your deposit.
But with all the hurricanes, earthquakes, tropical storms, wildfires, etc., that have been happening lately, discussing the weather and the environment can actually foster interesting conversation.
Tread lightly, since the conversation can veer into climate change, and you don’t know if this girl’s a climate change denier (or a believer, and you’re the denier… yeesh).
Maybe don’t go too deep into this one unless you know you’re both on the same page.
20. Social Media
If you happen to notice a girl IRL going live or making TikToks or recording videos for YouTube, that could be the perfect in. Ask her about it!
Maybe she does it for a company as a consultant or freelancer, or maybe she’s an entrepreneur with her own budding media empire. Either way, she’d probably be happy to chat about it, and maybe pass along her social handles as well. That way, you can connect with her and follow up later.
Or maybe you’re in the same world, making videos for social, or you’re a hashtag influencer. Ask her for some tips or advice, or simply share that you’re doing something similar and see if you have anything common within that world.
Who knows, if you seem like a cool guy, or she likes what you’re creating, she might let you slide into her DMs. (Ha, had to say it)
Maybe you love to cook, and you’re at the grocery store shopping for the next recipe you want to test. There’s a good chance that the girl who caught your eye at the store also enjoys cooking.
At the very least, she likes to eat, and if you cook, maybe you can make her a meal… one day.
First, you have to break the ice. So, in a non-creepy way, ask her what she’s making with that huge bell pepper. If you’re in the meat section together and she’s ordering up some steaks, ask her what cut she recommends.
Anything to get your proverbial foot in the door, and if she seems interested, you can continue the conversation.
22. Mutual Friends
This has to be the EASIEST way to start a conversation with a girl. Having a mutual friend or associate makes you a warm contact. You’re naturally vetted, since you both share a person in common.
You can ask her if she has seen them lately, how well she knows them, how long have they been friends, etc. This can be a great way to start and develop a friendship.
23. Clubs and Interests
If you’re part of a club, or you’re at a local chess match, or a design meetup at the Apple Store, and there’s a girl who also attends that you’re interested in… this is such an easy in.
Clearly you’re both interested in the thing that brought you to this place. Ask her how she got interested in it!
Find out what her favorite part is, or her most surprising chess match, or her most-used design trick. Often it’s just a matter of being interested and talking about the thing you both enjoy doing.
Lastly, you can always discuss her profession with her. Maybe you’re at a meetup with others in your same field. Or you’re simply at a bar. Ask what she does, how she enjoys it, what drew her to that field.
It’s often a default conversation topic (like the weather) and most people don’t want to talk about work all the time. It can be a good opener, though, especially if she’s passionate about what she does.
Just read the room and if it seems she’d rather change the topic, take the lead and bring up another subject… maybe one of the others we featured here in this article.
Overall, starting a conversation with a girl can be intimidating. However, using these prompts should make it that much easier.
For instance, if you find those with common interests, discussing movies, memes, or mutual friends can be a great way to forge a connection with her from the very start.
Either way, the most important thing is to be confident and friendly. You also want to listen, ask great questions, and relate back to her with stories of your own.
Don’t dominate the conversation, keep things light, and don’t take things too personally. Remember, you’re just getting to know her!